Life is great ... but it can always be better

Eric came over at lunchtime yesterday to help me install DSL. He brought bathrobe clad Audrey with him. We all went into the study where Audrey sat in the soft, overstuffed chair, a pillow on one side and the big armrest on the other. She said she was hungry so I made her a melted cheese tortilla and brought her a Capri Sun. I looked at how comfortable she looked and it reminded me of my good friend Albert Ku.

Albert has a way of enjoying life. Back one day when Albert was single, he walked outside in his robe to get the mail, smoking a cigarette, drinking a beer and he pulled out of the mailbox a new issue of Playboy. He said, “Scott, life just doesn’t get any better than this.” On another occasion we were playing golf. Albert loves golf, I hate it … but he has managed to get me to play a few times. At about the third tee I hit a drive that reminded me why I hate the sport. I said a few cuss words and Albert looked at me and said “It is a beautiful day, we are on a golf course in Hawaii and it’s TUESDAY!”

I looked back at Audrey and said “Sweetheart, isn’t life good when at noon you are in your jammies and robe, sitting in a great chair, eating good food and drinking a Capri Sun?” She looked at me and said, “It would be better if I was watching a cartoon.” I shut up and turned on the Cartoon Network.

Perspective

The US dodged a bullet when the terrorist failed to ignite his bomb on that Delta flight over Detroit this past Christmas. Those on the flight and those close to them were certainly lucky. It would have a horrible, senseless tragedy. But we need to put it into perspective. There are many tragedies that kill more innocent people and cost more money; earthquakes, hurricanes, automobile accidents and revenge for the terrorist attacks. As bad as they are, none of these with the possible exception of revenge threaten our way of life. There are several threats out there that might:

• The financial debacle – we almost went over the edge with this one. We are not out of the woods yet with the high unemployment and foreclosures that still loom.

• Health care – whether or not you think the 40,000,000 without insurance should get healthcare, the continuing astronomical increases in costs will break us all. The only way out is for logical rationing of health care. It cannot happen as long as the lobbyists control Congress.

• Climate change – Shortages of water are expected to create well over 10,000,000 additional refugees in Africa alone over the next few years. The losers are going to go after the winners of this lottery. Watch out Canada.

• Population – The earth’s resources are fixed. It is limited on how many people and animals it can support. We are probably already beyond the earth’s ability with7 billion people, providing we want them to live in what we would consider a reasonable lifestyle.

Terrorism is awful but we need to put it in perspective.

Happy New Year

Happy New Decade as well. I'm optimistic. Its got to get better. Surely over spending, over warring and over eating has not really caught up with us. We're America after all. We're just better, more in touch than the rest of them.

I have my resolutions for the new year. I'm going to be smarter, better looking and younger this year. I was going to be taller as well but I didn't want to over extent and get disappointed. I'm going to do just these few things at a time and improve my chances for success.

My goal for the decade is to lose weight. I'm thinking of trying the "get fat" diet where I force myself to overeat to the point I no longer want to eat. I know it worked for me with lasagna. If it works I can write a book and get rich to the point where I can eat anything I want. I'll take my time in that I have ten years.

What to do?

Shirley asked me this morning to dump out her old water into Becket’s bowl and get her some new water. That got me thinking. New water? What is new water? Water pumped up from an aquifer might be millions of years old. Rain water? I think that is more recycled or reconstituted water. Either way, would you want to drink rain water? I’ve always been told it is dirty. Bottled water? In the clear plastics bottles it is subject to BPA that will mess with your hormones. Water treated by the water company with chemicals certainly can’t be considered new. In fact, I think all of our water is several billion years old. I don’t know what to do. It’s been eight hours and I think she is probably getting really thirsty. They say whiskey is for drinking, water is for fighting over. Maybe I’ll just get her a new shot of whiskey. It is new years eve afterall.

Down with Up

I’m not an animated film fan. Movie critics seem to universally love them, giving nearly everyone a top tier rating. I’m not sure why, I know I don’t get it. That known, Shirley decided to buy the animated movie “Up”. Then she and Michael insisted that I watch it with them. Once again, I’m not sure why, I know I don’t get it. Perhaps it was because the hero was a crotchety old geezer. We did have in common that we don’t like to leave the house, though he had the unique capability to take it with him on his worldly adventures. I don’t think the helium balloons are a practical solution for me. That leaves airplane travel and I think I’ll stay home. Especially now with the heightened security and the one carry-on rule.

Shirley could relate to the geezer’s four footed cane. I don’t think that endeared her to the movie though. She did claim she heard me laugh several times. But that could also be said of Tarantino’s “Inglourious Basterds” which was the worst movie I’ve seen in a long time. It should have been animated. Couldn’t hurt and I would have known not to watch it.

Home with a View

I’ve always loved the view at Walden, perhaps my favorite. Unfortunately it has deteriorated significantly this holiday season. Tylir has always had an entertaining victory ritual whenever he wins at a round of cards. To Jill’s chagrin and my pain/agony, Tylir added showing his bare ass as part of his performance. To make matters worse, during our Christmas celebration, Michael suggested to Tylir that he could use a foot rub. I probably don’t need to tell you Tylir’s appendage of choice for rubbing Michael’s feet. I called foul. Tylir can now only show his ass if he wins at a round of cards. At least now, it will only be a rare occurrence.
My other view is political of course. Have you noticed that as health care reform comes closer to reality that the Republican’s primary objections are to the spending cuts. They universally oppose the Medicare cuts in the bill and they oppose any attempt to ration (think death panel) health care. Both are absolutely necessary if we are ever going to get control over health care costs. Any wonder why I’m no longer a Republican.

Swine Flu Escape

I traveled to Boston this week for a banking conference. All the news stories about swine flu had caught my attention. While over reported, I really didn't want to get it. I got on the plane only to be next to gentleman that would have a series of sneezes about every 5 minutes followed by 1 minute of nose blowing and wiping. Fortunately it was only a 4 hour flight.

I finally got to the hotel. One of the first things I noticed was all the Asians with masks. I took a long shower ... only 48 hours to go before I head home. I ran out of Purell about 30 minutes and 50 handshakes into the conference. I wasn't sure I was going to survive but I did. I credit the alcohol. Today, I'm bunkered in at the farm and I don't hit the road again for several weeks. It's good to be alive.